He is Jeff Gordon. A legend, an industry, and a family man. His skills are the envy of every driver. His jaw is so square, NASA uses it to calibrate launch trajectories. Yet, it is time to declare: The Emperor is wearing no clothes. Or, at least, he was not in 1990, when he undermined great talent with a cornea-pitting mullet, then accentuated the alien shape of his follicles with goggles.